First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
even my farts smell like vagina
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
