Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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