Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
