who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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