Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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