Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
