I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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