I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
