12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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