I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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