Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
