I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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