dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
