Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
