Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
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I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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