ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Little spoons don't ask big questions
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
