Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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