More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
