and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
