'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
