Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
