Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
