May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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