Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
is wine microwaveable?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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