My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
