idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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