I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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