I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize