Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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