I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
