I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
