is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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