just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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