I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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