Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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