you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
