just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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