Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
