Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
