just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize