your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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