If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
