i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize