She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
