I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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