So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
