it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize