so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
