Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
