he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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