Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
