yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
