so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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