if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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