Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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