oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize