Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
