i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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