dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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