You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
